Lust is in the Air
by Thunder-Nari
Summary: More crack!fic from me. It's ZoeWashMalJayne and despite the foursome it's all very tame and just for fun. Zoe and Wash are scheming.


Uh...I have no explanation at all for this. It's more crack!fic. The pairing is... Zoe/Wash/Jayne/Mal. Yep. It amuses.

**Lust is in the Air**

There's something about this mission that just doesn't sit right with him. Something about the air, it leaves an unsettled feeling in his gut. Makes him a might jumpy.

He's aiming Vera at Wash before he registers the little man, all wide eyes and hands in the air like that's really going to do something if someone has even an inkling to shoot you. He lowers Vera a little grudgingly.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Sneakin' up on a man like that."

Wash is watching him with raised eyebrows and the hands have yet to go down. "Mal said we needed to get back to the ship."

Jayne rolls his eyes. "I ain't gonna shoot you. Why'd we gotta head back to the ship? Mission ain't through yet." They still had to find and dig up the damn goods.

Wash shakes his head and finally, hesitantly, lowers his arms. He doesn't look any less tense. "He just told me to get you back. Something isn't right."

"Knew somethin' smelled funny about this place." Jayne looks around suspiciously before his gaze settles back on Wash. Wash isn't wearing his jumpsuit for once. Which wouldn't be a big deal if there wasn't a button missing on his hawaiian shirt and Jayne couldn't see a sliver of pink skin through the gap when the wind blew. He blinks and shakes his head of the enticingly weird sight. "That was strange."

"What?" Wash barks out at his muttered words. He flushes red, like he was doing something wrong and immediately looks away.

Well that just beats Jayne and he hasn't got the time to go figuring out what's bugging at Wash right now. He rolls his eyes and steps by the little man, grabbing his arms as he goes. "Come on."

The contact of Jayne's hand to Wash's bare arm has them both gasping. Jayne stills and looks down at the man who isn't trying to get out of his grasp. And _now_ he realizes why Wash was so tense, and still is.

Now he's grinning and Wash is looking caught out. "How soon Mal say we have to get back?"

"He didn't actually-"

"Good," he breaths out on a near growl and jerks Wash closer with the vice grip he's got on his arm.

Wash doesn't resist. For a moment before his hand is pushing against Jayne's chest in something other than a caress. "Wait! Zoe-"

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her," Jayne insists and tries to resume again.

Wash laughs. "Actually I just wanted to invite her."

A slow grin spreads over Jayne's face. "Well, alright then. Where's she at?"

It never occurs to him that she might kick his ass for this.

"What in the hell is going o-" Mal raises a hand to cover his eyes and turn away. It's a good long minute before he says anything else, his voice a little too high pitched. "Didn't I tell you all to get back to the ship?"

"You did, sir."

"Then why ain't you there?" He's still refusing to turn around.

"We got a bit distracted."

"Yeah. I can see that."

"Actually, sir-"

"Dont!" He raises a hand to silence Zoe.

"Sir," she tries again with her best placating tone but he cuts her off again.

"You knew this could happen!"

"I did."

A course of 'I didn't's answer that from Wash and Jayne. Mal finally turns, eyes adamantly fixed on Zoe's in surprise.

"You knew and you still let them... Wuh de mah, you planned this? You knew about the... In the air and... I ain't wrappin' my head around this."

Zoe looks far to self-satisfied as Mal stumbles off to a halt. Wash and Jayne are trying not to snicker. Jayne _knew_ that this place just didn't smell right but who cares when it all worked out like this. They're also trying not to get their hands back on each other and every time Jayne tries, Wash smacks his hand away. If he doesn't watch it, Jayne is gonna have to wrassle him to the ground. But watching the captain trying to keep his composure at the sight of the three of them... He'll save any other dirty play for later. Or maybe not... As he slips an arm around Zoe and Wash's waists, he grins at the captain.

"So you joinin' us or what?"

Mal stares. Then shrugs his shoulders and gives in to the urge.


End file.
